Dressing For Your Age

There's been a lot of talk and style guides on how to dress appropriately for your age. But what exactly is the rule on how to incorporate trends and what kind of silhouettes one should wear at a certain age?

When it comes to style, 47-year-old says that women should know well enough what makes them feel comfortable at the moment. "I think it's also what is more true to yourself at that point of time in your life. 

Regardless of what age you are in, if you feel comfortable, you can spin off or carry anything. Style doesn't have to be age-specific. If you're confident, you can carry anything," she shares. Minimalism is key."less is always more—from makeup to accessories, and prints"always leaned towards classic lines. It doesn't have to be boring though. You can incorporate trends as an accent to what you're wearing. You can dress up trendy but just don't overdo it," the 46-year-old actress explains.

But for 32-year congresswoman other than feeling comfortable in whatever you're going to wear, it is also about wearing what is appropriate for the occasion. "At least get to know to what and where the event is.

When it comes to age-appropriate dressing, there are no fixed rules according to these ladies. Just always remember to update your closet with the changes in your body, your lifestyle, and the kind of person you are at that point in your life.(Courtesy of Style factor)

How to survive—and even enjoy—your solo flight

By Pierra Calasanz-Labrador for Yahoo! Southeast Asia

It happens to the best of us—those hollow, agonizing bouts of loneliness. One moment we can be partying in a crowd, and the next, feeling like no one in the world "gets" us.
It can happen when we're fresh from a heartbreak, or maybe still yearning for that first love. It can happen when we're not successful enough; and yet, when we've become too successful, it's lonelier still, because we no longer know whom to trust.
Hundreds of Facebook friends, thousands of Twitter followers, yet none to call when you're feeling down. As they say, it's lonely at the top. It's lonely at the bottom, too, and all the places in between. How do we shake off this solitary feeling?


Find your tribe
We all want to be loved for ourselves, but have you ever pretended to be what you're not, just to fit in? That's where the problem begins. We try so hard to gain acceptance, and when we fail—as the black sheep of the family, as the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, or with an unrequited love—the loneliness sets in.
If you always feel like you're on the outside looking in, perhaps you're looking in all the wrong places. There's nothing worse than constantly trying to readjust your personality to get a guy to like you or gain acceptance into the "in" crowd. What's wrong with the real you?
Gravitate towards people who share the same interests, ideals, or even the same sense of humor. Join clubs, workshops or classes; and if you don't know anyone who shares the same passions, you can always count on online forums. Spend more time with people who like you for you, and help you grow—you may find that instead of one tight circle, moving in different crowds to nurture different sides of yourself might work best. Bottomline, look for people who fit you, and not the other way around.

Alone, but not lonely
Okay, so Prince Charming hasn't arrived at your doorstep yet. It doesn't mean you should put your life on hold till he makes his appearance. As meltingly romantic as that Jerry Maguire line was, you don't need anyone to tell you "You complete me" to feel whole.
It's important to nurture your sense of self. Shift your perspective and learn that you make your own happiness—a significant other doesn't have to bring it to you on a silver platter.
Being alone is not such a bad thing; in fact, solitude can be quite cathartic, helping you to reconnect with yourself and stay true to your course. Revel in your freedom, relish your "me time" and aim to be the best version of yourself. This way, you gain a precious sense of self-worth, and you'll never settle for less than you deserve.

Facebook Generation
Connecting is easier—but oftentimes, more impersonal—in the digital age.
If you're social networking addiction is making you feel even lonelier, miserable (how did it turn into a show of one-upmanship?), or more disconnected from real life than ever before, then it's time to gain back control. Weed out the bad vibes and trim that contact list to people you really care about interacting with. Then, make a conscious effort to actually keep in touch.
You may be whining in your head about how your friends never bother to contact you anymore, but they might just be thinking the same thing about you. And when you do hang out, give your friends your full attention. If they're as addicted to their phones as you are, make a pact to keep your mobile devices out of sight. Have you heard of the game where everyone puts their mobile phone in a stack when eating out? The first person who reaches for their phone before the meal ends has to treat everyone else. Genius!
Social networking is great for connecting with friends old and new, far and wide—but remember, when those friends are right in front of you, concentrate on truly enjoying their company and maintaining meaningful relationships offline.

Support system

Friends grow distant. Lovers lose that spark. Family members grow up and move away. There will always be events in our lives that threaten us with a sense of abandonment. There may be days when we are struck with the anguish of loneliness, like no one understands what we're going through, and even our closest friends can't relate. But sometimes, we don't give people enough credit.
Perhaps they might be able to relate after all, and help us through our pain, if we just allow ourselves to open up and be vulnerable. There's no need to pretend to be strong when among true friends. And don't forget, being Filipino usually means having a built-in support system, AKA, a whole extended family that looks out for each other.

Much of our loneliness stems from feelings of inadequacy. We all experience it, some more intensely than others, but it's important catch yourself before you wallow in misery. Every time you feel like you could disappear off of the face of the earth and no one would notice, fight off your insecurities and know that you matter in the world. Make yourself matter! When you've skipped the pity party, you'll find that there are people who truly care about you—it just may not always be apparent in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Color Psychology At Work

Colors are believed to have an effect on our psychology; try wearing these shades in different work situations and see if it helps. Adapted from Juliet Soh, JobsCentral

There is a reason why there are so many idioms that describe moods with colors: having the blues, seeing red, tickled pink and green with envy. That’s because colors indeed have powerful effects on our psychology. In fact, the Egyptians and Chinese have been practicing “chromotherapy”, an alternative treatment using colors to heal, for thousands of years. Now, tap on the knowledge of color psychology and find out if it works for you.

1. There is a reason why there are so many idioms that describe moods with colors: having the blues, seeing red, tickled pink and green with envy. That’s because colors indeed have powerful effects on our psychology. In fact, the Egyptians and Chinese have been practicing “chromotherapy”, an alternative treatment using colors to heal, for thousands of years. Now, tap on the knowledge of color psychology and find out if it works for you.

   There is a reason why there are so many idioms that describe moods with colors: having the blues, seeing red, tickled pink and green with envy. That’s because colors indeed have powerful effects on our psychology. In fact, the Egyptians and Chinese have been practicing “chromotherapy”, an alternative treatment using colors to heal, for thousands of years. Now, tap on the knowledge of color psychology and find out if it works for you.
2. Blue: The calming color
   The color of the ocean and sky, blue is synonymous with peace and composure. This color has a relaxing and calming effect on people.
   Wear it when: You are meeting a disgruntled customer or an angered boss to do some damage control. Seeing shades of blue on you can make him/her feel less stressed and lower inclination to aggression. This (fingers crossed!) should make appeasing him/her much easier.

   Blue: The calming color
   The color of the ocean and sky, blue is synonymous with peace and composure. This color has a relaxing and calming effect on people.
   Wear it when: You are meeting a disgruntled customer or an angered boss to do some damage control. Seeing shades of blue on you can make him/her feel less stressed and lower inclination to aggression. This (fingers crossed!) should make appeasing him/her much easier.
3. Black: The shade of authority
   Black is a somber color that oozes responsibility, power and authority. That’s probably the differentiating factor that makes Batman’s getup look less hilarious than Superman’s.
   Wear it when: You are chairing an important meeting. To ensure that every attendee—even those more senior than you are—take you seriously, wearing black can make them feel that you mean business. You could also include black in your work getup if you want your boss to start noticing you as a potential candidate to promote to a managerial position.
4. Orange: The energetic hue
   Just like red, orange is an attention-grabbing color, but is more soothing on the eyes. Orange helps channel energy and can put people instantly in a chirpy and positive mood.
   Wear it when: You need to encourage your team mates. During a particularly demoralizing period when everyone in the office is feeling moody from setbacks or crazy deadlines, include orange in your outfit when you address them so the optimistic spirit can rub off on them too. 
5. Purple: The tint of intuition
   Purple is often associated with luxury and sophistication. At the same time, this color is a stimulating shade that’s said to get you in tune with your spiritual and intuitive side.
   Wear it when: You need to make a tough decision and are going nowhere. Standing at a career crossroad? Or need to make a difficult judgment? Put on your thinking cap—preferably in purple—to help you reach a conclusion you’d be at peace with.(This Article is courtesy of Yahoo She philippines)

 

Foods that Whiten Teeth Naturally

Coffee, tea, red wine and some soda can all stain your teeth and darken your smile. But there are some common foods that can actually help whiten your teeth over time. They're not as thoroughly effective as professional teeth whitening products-but they are cheap and natural. And that should leave you smiling. 

1. Strawberries They may stain your shirt, but they could work to whiten teeth, since they contain an enzyme called malic acid. Try mashing up strawberries and rubbing them on your teeth. Leave for five minutes then rinse with water and brush and floss as usual.

2. Apples, celery and carrots These healthy fruits and veggies act like natural stain removers by increasing saliva production, which serves as the mouth's self-cleaning agent. They also may kill bacteria that causes bad breath, and their crunch factor works to scrub teeth clean.

3. Oranges and pineapples Eating tart fruits such as oranges and pineapples may cause the mouth to produce more saliva, which washes teeth clean naturally. Beware of using lemons directly on teeth, because too much acidity can damage teeth.

4. Baking soda One 2008 study found toothpastes that contain baking soda - long considered a tooth-whitening home remedy - do a better job of removing plaque than toothpastes without the ingredient. To try it, your best bet is brushing with a commercial paste that contains the mild abrasive. Or, once in a while, you can just brush your teeth with baking soda straight from the box. 

5. Yogurt, milk and cheese Dairy products contain lactic acid, which may help protect teeth against decay. A study in the journal Dentistry found kids who ate yogurt four times per week had less tooth decay than kids who didn't eat yogurt. Researchers think proteins in yogurt may bind to teeth and prevent them from attack by harmful acids that cause cavities. Hard cheeses are best for whitening, since they help remove food particles as well.(Courtesy of yahoo!)

Sharpen Your Intuition

Hands up—how many of you have heard that little voice in your head that somehow tells you what to do when you're stuck between two choices? Guess what—it's not just in your imagination; that voice is very real and it's called your intuition.
Why is it important for you to listen to it? Even Oprah Winfrey herself said, "Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself." While it may seem to arise from a mysterious inner source, intuition is actually a way your brain accumulates knowledge to help you form unconscious reasoning, a process known as chunking by the late social scientist Herbert Simon, PhD.
Research will also show that women have an edge when it comes to listening to their gut feeling. (Which is why some of us know deep down inside when our guy is telling us a lie.)
Our advice? Listen to your gut feelings instead of just brushing them aside. It may not be right all the time… but our instinct tells us that it can come in handy.
Here's how you can hone them to develop killer instinct.

1. Learn to trust it

Your intuition won't come in handy if you don't trust it. So the first step to honing it? Listening to what it has to say to you about the situation you are faced with.
Here's something to get you thinking: A University of London research team found that people who went with their initial response on a test of visual perception did better than those who were given more time to ponder. The team put this down to the brain's subconsciousness of being able to "spot" answers almost immediately.
In other words, when your gut 'tells' you that you should, for example, take another route instead of walking to that dark and empty street corner, learn to listen. Teymara Antonio-Wright, life coach and the founder of the popular "Born to be Free' seminar, says that our intuition is with us all the time. "Learn to trust your initial feelings. After you do this for a period of time, it will become second nature."

2. Tune into your senses

Says Laura Day, author of Practical Intuition, our instinct is actually an extension of our senses. So to nurture it, you should start paying attention to what you smell, hear, taste and touch throughout the day. This way, you'll be indirectly inciting your intuition to work harder and lead you to the right direction.

3. Give it a moment of peace

Think about the time when your brain switches from one thing to another? Or the time when you find yourself completely swamped with too many things at a time? Chances are you'll be in a state of funk where nothing seems to go right. For your intuition to work, it is important to give it a calmer and more peaceful "surrounding", says Lynn A. Robinson, an expert on intuition as well as author of LISTEN: Trusting Your Inner Voice in Times of Crisis.
"Intuitive answers often come to life's questions through self-reflection. Prayer and meditation are two ways we have of slowing down enough to listen to the still, quiet voice of our Higher Self." Her suggestion? To spend at least 15 minutes a day meditating (or praying). Choose a time when you won't be disturbed and make sure you switch your phone off. Clear your mind during the 15 minutes and simply pay attention to your breathing. As you come to the end, speak to your intuition, says Robinson. "Ask your intuition whether there is a message for you, and listen for answers that may come as a word, phrase, feeling, knowing or a physical sensation," she says.

4. Note down when your intuition was right

Keep an intuition notebook. Whenever your intuition came true, make sure you jot down details of the situation in the notebook. Why is it important to keep count?
Says Susan Apollon, intuitive psychologist and author of Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul, "Intuition and confidence go hand in hand. And nothing builds confidence like a written track record of your intuitive abilities." So go on, track your intuitive wins!

5. Take small steps

Like with everything else, the more you use your instinct, the better you will become at it. Says Robinson, "If using your intuition is new for you, it may be best to use it in relatively low risk situations at first. This will help you develop your 'intuitive muscles'."
So take small steps. You'll find that as you become better at understanding at your intuition is trying to tell you, the decision will become clearer and you will be more confident of trusting yourself.(By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia)

The 10 Commandments Of Investing

The biblical Ten Commandments were intended to act as a driver's manual for the road of life. "Thou shalt not kill." "Thou shalt not bear false witness." These are life's versions of the stop-at-the-red-light-and-advance-when-safe rules of the road. In other words, they are all guidelines to keep people out of trouble. Because life's highways are full of potholes, blind turns and bad drivers, the investing world also suffers from scandals, scams and dishonest companies. Here are 10 commandments for the investing world designed to help keep investors - and their money - safe.(Courtesy of Andrew Beattie | Investopedia )

1. Thou Shalt Set Clear Goals
If you don't have a purpose or a set of clear goals to guide your investment strategy, don't invest. This sounds harsh, but there are so many types, styles and flavors of investing that, without a particular destination, you will be lost at sea.

2. Thou Shalt Put Thy Financial House in Order
To become a successful investor, you have to make sure that your personal finances are in order first. Investing without a purpose is bad, but investing when you have high-interest debt is much worse. If you are drowning in overdue bills and credit card payments that you can't meet, take care of those more serious problems before getting too deep into investing.

3. Thou Shalt Question Authority
Investing is more about the art of asking and answering the right questions than it is about deciding when to buy and sell. CEOs, CFOs, CPAs, CFAs and all the other acronyms that we use to classify Wall Street's professional caste can't hide the fact that they are human, and that humans sometimes lie. Analysts get kickbacks, CEOs get stock options and recent accounting scandals, show that impartial accounting is not guaranteed.
To question authority, you will need to educate yourself, especially on the subject of financials. Press releases are flakes of snow that rain down on investors and melt away, but financials stick around. Although financials can be tampered with, there is always a trail left behind.

4. Thou Shalt not Follow Sheep
Herd mentality leads to destructive rampages down Wall Street. Investing passively by sticking to funds, indexes and other mainstays of the coach potato portfolio is a perfectly acceptable practice. The danger comes when people move from being a passive investor to an active portfolio, but they continue to stick with the behavior of being a passive investor.

There is a lot of available information for such investors - much of which is true - but accepting it with an uncritical eye and neglecting to check it yourself is what leads to herding. This includes getting the latest and greatest stock tip from your Uncle George.

A person can effortlessly become one of the investors that the analysts shepherd into various "must-buy stocks" after they have become overpriced. This is how investors find themselves in the herd when skittish investors flee, causing the stock to plunge farther than it should have (whereupon a more astute investor buys a bargain off of your loss).
When people buy cars, they try to find the best value for the lowest price; when people buy stocks, they only see the price and, ironically, gravitate towards rising prices. If you are going to invest, you have to check things for yourself in order to find the true value and get the bargains. This takes more time, and it could even cause you to miss out on early gains, but it will tell you when to stay out or when to sell well before the herd hears the bell. 

5. Thou Shalt Be Humble
If you take the first four commandments to heart, there is a good chance that you will perform better than the majority of individual investors and many of the professionals. But sometimes, particularly during a bull market, gains are not dictated by investor actions as much as by having money in the market, so don't allow yourself to become overconfident. Overconfidence often leads to overtrading, taking unnecessary risks and eventual losses when the bull turns bear. Also, remember that you incur commissions every time you trade - this expense can often erase profits or increase losses.

6. Thou Shalt Be Patient
Patience is a virtue for a good reason: It pays for itself. When the market dips, or even when a particular stock dips, there are always investors who panic and sell. Selling should be treated just as seriously as buying. If it is just a bump, ride it out. If there is truly a problem with the stock, take your time as well - you may find a way to use it in a gain-loss transaction that will save you taxes. By the time you hear it, bad news has already settled in - taking your time isn't going to make it much worse.

7. Thou Shalt Show Moderation
Investing too much is not a problem many people have, but it can happen. It is said that the pain of a loss has twice the emotional strength of the pleasure of a gain. For some people, this results in pulling out of the market prematurely, as mentioned above.
For others, losing propels them into successively riskier ventures in an all-or-nothing attempt to win those losses back. Losses are hard to take, but look on the bright side: You can sell a loss to offset a gain in another sector or, if it is in a retirement account, you can use it as a tax write-off. Concentrating your money too much in one area, either by sector, risk level or even keeping it all in the stock market, is a sure way to see more of nothing than all in an all-or-nothing game.

8. Thou Shalt not Ogle Thy Investment
There is nothing like a market correction or a general upswing to change perfectly normal investors into fanatics who have market updates text messaged to their cell phones every five minutes. As with Fidelity, the axiom, "look, don't touch" is insufficient because the more you look, the more you want to mess around with your investments. It is not clear if it is a symptom or a cause, but this rabid over-monitoring almost always leads to unnecessary churning in sufferers' portfolios

9. Thou Shalt not Court or Spurn Risk
You should never put everything you have into futures, but you also shouldn't hold everything in Treasury bills. There is an appropriate level of risk for investors of every age and creed. 

10. Thou Shalt not Make Heroes of Mere Men
There is no perfect investor. Warren Buffett , George Soros and Peter Lynch have all slipped up from time to time. That doesn't stop them from being great investors who are worth studying and learning from. That said, you should never mimic an investing strategy that you do not fully understand.

There is too much guru-ism going on among investors - so much so that credentials are often lost beneath book titles in which the word "rich" is prominently featured. As with the early caution against trusting authority, you have to question everything. Even if a strategy works for a certain period of time, once it becomes widespread, it skews the system. For example, the publication of Lynch's tenbagger strategy has led to too many people searching for those stocks, leading prices to become inflated to adjust for the non-market driven demand. Skeptics survive on Wall Street much longer than believers.
The Bottom Line
Praying or getting behind the wheel expecting everyone else to follow the same rules you do are both acts of faith. Investing, in contrast, requires practice. To be a good investor, you have to make doubt a part of your creed and make double-checking a ritual. These guidelines should help you on your way. Happy driving.

Sun Sign and Kissing

Aries

The hasty and adventurous Aries natives often have tempestuous love lives. True to their nature, they prefer quick yet rapturous and passionate kisses that will leave them and their partner asking for more, and the temperatures soaring! The loving Aries will love it even more if their partner is equally enthusiastic in romantic overtures. 

Taurus

Taurus natives are grounded, and like to have a ready security net. No wonder they enjoy deep, heartfelt kisses, which promise more than just a fling. Not the ones to appreciate superficial feelings, they are sensual beings, and their soulful, sweet kisses are bound to linger on their lover's mind for a long time.

Gemini

Most Geminis love to talk. Communication is their life line. Thus, don't be surprised if your Gemini lover talks, giggles, comments, jokes or even babbles while kissing! Ignore the initial distraction, and soon you may see your kiss turning hotter and meaningful. Reciprocate with an equal zest, and be ready for fireworks!

Cancer

Sensitive and caring, Cancer natives like their kisses to be like their personality – warm, loving and soothing. Smothering their loved one with deep, lingering kisses is a sacred art to them, one rarely found with any other zodiac sign. And once they begin, they would want to cling on to the moment. Any reciprocation would only add fuel to their fire. 

Leo

Royal, arrogant Lions, like all things, prefer their kisses hot, sizzling and wild! Ardent and courteous lovers, they prefer treating their loved ones regally. And, they demand  equally ardent attention from their partner. Hence, a kiss is an event that has to be made special each time it's attempted. After all, a Lion's amour is well known!

Virgo

Virgo natives, akin to their basic nature, enjoy soft and gentle kisses. They themselves are soft kissers, and it's the quality that matters the most to them. Caring to the core, Virgos love to cuddle and run their fingers through their lover's hair as they seal their beloved's heart with a loving kiss!

Libra
Libra natives are known for their balanced, polished ways. No wonder, they make elegant but cautious kissers. A need to please everyone may make them very worried even while kissing. Romantic Libras need to let-go while kissing, if they are to enjoy the experience  completely.    

Scorpio

The Scorpio passion and drive are inimitable. Hence, when a Scorpio kisses, the result is simply sizzling, a definite turn on. Their partners, however, will need to keep pace with these frenetic, frenzied beings. Plus, many Scorpios may always be in a hurry, so their quick kiss may often be a brief prelude to the next, more important level.

Sagittarius

The otherwise self-absorbed Archers are quite loving and considerate when in love. Same applies to their kissing quotient. Adept and sensual kissers, they know how to impress their partners. And, if the partner happens to fuel their ego by reciprocating with an equal enthusiasm, things may really heat up!

Capricorn

It's rather difficult to estimate how hot and intense an otherwise prim and proper Capricorn could be in matters of love and intimacy. Their lucky partners are in for a real treat, when a much-in-love/ lust Cappy sets down to kiss. The sublime intensity and sensuality of their kiss can simply be surreal.

Aquarius

An Aquarius is often alleged for being flippant in his/ her approach. The fact that they  prefer keeping their eyes open while kissing may further that belief. But, that's how they like it, short and sweet. They do appreciate intensity, though, so in such times, it's like messier the better for them!

Pisces
The true romantics of the zodiac, Pisces natives prefer long, sensuous and dreamy kisses, and are sure to be hugely flattered if their feelings are reciprocated. They are wonderful kissers, and take their own sweet time to exchange big, amorous kisses. Never in a hurry, kissing may be like an independent act of passion for them.(Courtesy of GaneshaSpeaks.com)

You Get What You Ask For!

In life we get what we ask for.

Now you surely say that it isn't true. You say you ask for freedom and happiness and all you got was feeling imprisoned and bad.

Let's have a closer look to how creation works and how our subconscious mind works. Because it's the same.

Everything that exists is created in someone's mind. Everything starts with a thought. A thought is an energy. Energy wants to manifest itself. A lot of thoughts in the same direction will, that's for sure, manifest in the real world.

This is the process of creation. 
We are created by the same process. We use this process of creation all the time, 
without knowing it.

When we are not conscious, then we are like most people and use this power to create a negative life. We have negative thoughts and get negative results.
Once we learn how to think positive thoughts, we will get positive results in our life.

How come? Our subconscious mind is like the earth. It does not interfere with what we sow. Earth does not say :"Nja I have enough of these carottes, it's every time the same thing, I will make potatoes of it!" Earth does not say : "Bah I don't like red flowers, I will turn the red into blue for these roses!" Earth does not interfere. Earth is patient, works in silence and gives us exactly what we put in it. And we KNOW that! We know we will get exactly what we put in the earth. When we put yellow flowers in it, we don't expect them to be red when they blossom. When we sow roses in the garden we don't expect onions to come out in spring!

And yet that's how we react in real life. We sow onions and expect roses. We sow negative thoughts in our mind (onions) and expect good things (roses) to come out! We fool ourselves! And we blame others. We look for who can possibly be the fault of that (usually we blame the parents or the husband/wife for what goes wrong in our life). And then we cry and say we don't have any luck in our lives. We look at the neighbour and think he's lucky because he has roses in his garden, and we wonder what we did to the world to deserve only onions in our garden!<When the mainstream of your thoughts is negative, let's say for 85 %, than the outcome will be negative for 85%. Your thoughts fall into your subconscious mind, which executes exactly what you put in it. It is like the earth. It is like a computer. When you type in your computer : "I am stupid, I am fat, I am ugly, nobody loves me", are you angry with your printer when the paper comes out that says "I am stupid, I am fat, I am ugly, nobody loves me"? Do you throw a shoe at your computer and do you yell at him that he is the fault of everything that's going wrong? No, because you know you put that information in it and your computer does not interfere. The output matches exactly the input.

So works our subconscious mind. If you don't like the output, change the input. You get exactly what you ask for = what you think of the whole day. Don't be angry with your life. You are not angry with the onions, are you? You are not angry with your computer, are you? Instead of being angry, learn how it works and learn to get positive results in your life. Start thinking positive thoughts. Think only thoughts you wish to see happen in real life. Think only what you want to become true. And wait for a while, be patient. One day you will harvest what you sew, like you know earth will give you back what you put in it. It is never lost. Just wait and see. ( Courtesy of Readbud.com)

4 Strategies to Stop Arguing

You know how it is: Sometimes you feel so much damn love for your boyfriend or husband you want to eat his face; other times, you'd like to kick him in the teeth.Well, according to recent studies, feeling both love and hate (yep, actual hate) is totally normal. That's because the same area of your brain that activates mushy feelings is also responsible for producing white-hot rage-which helps explain why even happy couples are destined to fight from time to time"Arguing can be a sign that your relationship is strong and passionate, and that you're comfortable enough to express negative feelings without fear of losing each other in the process," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Make Up, Don't Break Up. Still, there are right and wrong ways to resolve disagreements. We break it down. (Courtesy of Yahoo)

Use Your Ears, Not Your Mouth 

If you find yourself sounding like a playlist on repeat, try pressing pause. "Research has found that unhappy couples tend to repeat themselves out of desperation to be heard, which isn't productive. They wind up talking at each other instead of having a dialogue," says Benjamin Karney, Ph.D., co director of the Relationship Institute at the University of California at Los Angeles.While most people know that cakes and chocolate aren’t great for your health, there are other seemingly healthy foods whose dangerous properties slip under the radar. While it is unlikely moderate amounts of these foods will harm you, in large quantities – or in certain conditions – they may do more damage to your health than you think. Here are some of the most toxic common foods.

Don't Make It Personal 


In the heat of an argument, the gloves often come off. The problem, notes Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., director of relationship education at the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia, is that once nasty insults start flying around and feelings are hurt, nothing will be resolved. Also, according to a study conducted at the University of Chicago, our brains have a built-in "negativity bias," which causes us to be more responsive to unpleasant news. Why? Back in caveman times, our survival as a species was dependent on our ability to stay out of danger, so our brains developed protective systems that made it impossible to overlook the bad. That's why you need to minimize the negative impact of your words. Remember, the goal isn't to upset each other, it's to resolve an issue. So instead of exclaiming "You're so lazy!" tell him how his actions affect you. Try, "I get tired of planning everything for us and wish you would take over sometimes."

Don't Make It Personal 

In the heat of an argument, the gloves often come off. The problem, notes Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., director of relationship education at the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia, is that once nasty insults start flying around and feelings are hurt, nothing will be resolved. Also, according to a study conducted at the University of Chicago, our brains have a built-in "negativity bias," which causes us to be more responsive to unpleasant news. Why? Back in caveman times, our survival as a species was dependent on our ability to stay out of danger, so our brains developed protective systems that made it impossible to overlook the bad. That's why you need to minimize the negative impact of your words. Remember, the goal isn't to upset each other, it's to resolve an issue. So instead of exclaiming "You're so lazy!" tell him how his actions affect you. Try, "I get tired of planning everything for us and wish you would take over sometimes."


Remember You're a Couple 


We know this is a tall order, but if you can express positive emotions during an argument, you'll have a more satisfying relationship two or three years down the road, according to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. "When couples are able to communicate closeness, affection (for example, a touch on the arm or the cheek), and even humor in the midst of an argument, the impact of harsher words is diminished," Karney says. "Positive interactions say that you still like and love each other, and you're committed to the relationship even in the worst of times." And you can even go a step further by incorporating some playful ribbing: Couples who lightly tease each other during a conflict wind up feeling more in love when the disagreement finally blows over, according to a study conducted at the University of California at Berkeley.

Top 10 surprisingly toxic foods

While most people know that cakes and chocolate aren’t great for your health, there are other seemingly healthy foods whose dangerous properties slip under the radar. While it is unlikely moderate amounts of these foods will harm you, in large quantities – or in certain conditions – they may do more damage to your health than you think. Here are some of the most toxic common foods.

Mushrooms

While mushrooms available in most supermarkets should be pretty safe to eat, mushroom fans need to be careful about what species' they are consuming as many varieties can be highly dangerous and even fatal. Around 100 species of mushrooms are said to be dangerous to humans, with symptoms ranging from headaches to seizures or even death. In 2010 a small variety of mushroom called the Little White was blamed for an estimated 400 deaths in China.

Chillies

Chillies are renowned for their heat, which is what makes them so popular. However, it is actually the chemical that causes this spiciness (capsaicin) which can cause toxic effects such as stomach pain, itchy skin and, in extreme cases, death. For most people eating chillies will do little harm, however capsaicin is best eaten sparingly so make sure to take it easy and avoid any chilli eating challenges!

Rapeseed oil

There has been much controversy about this seemingly innocent natural oil, but the general consensus seems to be that it could have many negative implications on our health. Reports state that the rape plant - from which the oil is produced - is extremely toxic, and side effects of consuming its oil could include respiratory problems and blindness.

Rice

It is impossible to dispute that rice has many great health benefits. However, like with most things, it may be best eaten in moderation due to its reportedly unsafe levels of arsenic. One study has suggested that one in five packs of American long-grain rice contain potentially harmful levels of the toxic substance, while others have reported concern for the levels of arsenic in rice milk and baby rice. While there is relatively little risk of the odd bowl of rice causing any long lasting harm, the consumption of high levels of arsenic has been linked to cancer.

Nutmeg

Perhaps one of the most immediately dangerous foods on this list is also one of the most surprising, and that is the common store cupboard spice, nutmeg. Although, like many of the foods on the list, nutmeg does have reported health benefits, it can also be extremely dangerous when taken in large doses. Containing a toxic substance called myristicin, moderate proportions of nutmeg can cause hallucinations, while larger doses can cause convulsions, palpitations, nausea, dehydration and death.

Non-organic apples

Although it is advisable to buy as much organic fruit and veg as you can, in reality this is hard to do on most people's budgets. When making decisions over whether or not to go organic, it is important therefore to note that some foods have a higher concentration of pesticides than others, and apples are one of the fruits that top this list. Because apples are vulnerable to insect infestations and growths, growers are liable to coat the fruit in chemical pesticides and fungicides, some of which will absorb into its flesh. To minimise health risks, try to buy organic apples wherever possible, or at least remove the skin before eating.

Farmed Salmon

We may be constantly urged to eat more oily fish, but research has suggested that consuming farmed salmon may not be the best way to do it. A study found that 13 different toxins - including PCBs, which have been classed as a probable human carcinogen by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) - are at much higher levels in farm-raised salmon than in wild salmon. Due to the possible health dangers of consuming these toxins, it is advisable to either reduce your portions of farmed salmon (guidelines are for a half to two portions a month, depending on where the salmon is from) or switch to the wild variety.

Microwave popcorn

Although eating microwave popcorn is not believed to be particularly harmful, it has been found that butter flavoured versions of the snack contain a dangerous chemical (diacetyl) in the flavouring which releases toxic fumes when microwaved. While this has mainly affected factory workers so far - with many developing a lung condition dubbed "popcorn lung" - one consumer is now known to have also developed lung problems due to this toxin.

However, this is clearly a case of moderation being key, with the sufferer admitting to eating microwave popcorn at least twice a day for 10 to 12 years. Unless you are eating your popcorn in similar quantities, it is most likely safe to consume popcorn at home, just be careful to avoid the fumes when opening the bag.

Potatoes

Potatoes may look innocent enough, but did you know they actually come from the same family as poisonous plant the deadly nightshade? Although they are not quite as dangerous as this family member, potatoes do pose certain risks to our health due to them containing toxic compounds known as glycoalkaloids, the most worrying of which is solanine which affects the nervous and digestive systems, causing headaches, weakness, confusion, diarrhoea and vomiting amongst other things.

Poisoning from potatoes occurs very rarely but fans of the popular vegetable should take measures to protect themselves by avoiding potatoes with sprouts - which tend to have a higher concentration of glycoalkaloids - and those which have turned green. Although the green colour of the potatoes is harmless in itself, it does indicate that the potatoes have been exposed to light, which can also encourage solanine levels to rise over the safe level for consumption.

Peanuts

Not only are peanuts one of the most common food allergens, but the popular bar snack may also be dangerous to those who don't suffer from allergies. Peanuts are particularly best avoided by those with kidney or gallbladder problems as they contain oxalates which can crystallise and cause kidney and gallbladder stones.

However, even for the rest of us peanuts can be toxic due to their susceptibility to mould and the frequently occurring presence of aflatoxin - a highly toxic carcinogen - that is produced by a fungus called Aspergillus flavus invading the nuts. If you simply can't resist snacking on peanuts, try to purchase ones produced in arid areas - such as New Mexico -where the soil is dry and the risk of aflatoxins is lower.( Courtesy of realbuzz.com)

Foods high in antioxidant content

A recently published study out of Portugal found that green tea and hibiscus-based beverages worked the hardest for their consumer, as they had the highest levels of antioxidants out of 19 commercially available drinks.

More than blackberry and raspberry-based products, the combination of green tea and hibiscus proved to be the most antioxidant-rich.

Meanwhile, a study out of Norway catalogued the antioxidant content of more than 3,100 foods, beverages, spices, herbs and supplements in 2010.

Here are some of the most antioxidant-rich foods from the database: (Courtesy Of AFP Relax News )

Beverages

Coffee
Espresso
Pomegranate juice
Red wine

Breakfast cereals, grains, legumes, nuts and seeds
Buckwheat
Chestnuts  with pellicle, or the skin of the nut
Pecans with pellicle
Sunflower seeds
Walnuts with pellicle

Berries, fruits and vegetables
Baobab, an African fruit
Amla (Indian gooseberry)
Bilberries (dried)
Dog rose (dried, fresh)
Dried plums, prunes, apricots, apples
Artichoke
Blueberry jam
Curly kale
Okra

Spices
Cloves
Allspice
Mint leaves
Oregano
Thyme
Cinnamon

7 Foods That Makes You Happy

Different kinds of foods serve different kinds of purposes. Of all the different purposes that food serves, the most consistent one is that it can make you feel happy. To know what foods you must eat if you wish to chase away the blues, then you need to continue reading.

1. Dark Chocolate

We are sure you are not surprised to read ‘Dark Chocolate’ here! Dark chocolate improves the blood-flow to the brain, and it provides an instant boost in concentration and mood. Generally, chocolate is thought to be only an aphrodisiac but that is clearly not the case. Therefore, it is advisable to keep dark chocolate handy and take a big bite the moment you feel low.

2. Honey

Honey is extremely healthy and way better than sugar. If you are suffering from depression then you must include honey in your regular diet as it contains kaempferol and quercetin which help treat depression. Both these also help reduce any inflammation in the brain. Also, the good sweet taste of honey helps lift bad mood at once!

3. Eggs

‘Sunday ho ya Monday, roz khao ande!’ You must have heard this jingle time and again. Eggs are exceptionally healthy and, therefore, are a must in everyone’s diet. Eggs contain sufficient amounts of vitamin B, iodine, zinc, proteins and omega-3 fatty acids. Eggs will not only ensure your mood stays upbeat, but they will also ensure your stomach stays happy by being full!

4. Yogurt

This calcium rich snack is sure to guarantee a better, happier mood. Yogurt contains probiotics, friendly bacteria that are known to ease depression. Also, yogurt is healthy and will not add to your calorie count. So, the next time you feel down and out indulge in a cup of yogurt instead of ice cream!

5. Green Tea

Green tea is a very healthy drink and extremely popular among the young generation. If you feel stressed, then it is in your best interest to brew yourself a cup of tea. The green tea leaves contain L-theanine, which is an antioxidant that is known to have a relaxing effect on your senses. Also, green tea will leave you with a fresher breath and help prevent tooth decay. So have a cup of green tea and treat yourself to some great mood and healthy teeth!

6. Coconut

This may come as a shocker, but coconut when eaten in its raw form will leave you with a better mood. Coconuts contain triglycerides which are special fats that aid in improving moods and in general they promote the health of your brain. However, do remember that coconut milk is actually rather unhealthy. It would be in your happiest interest to stick with raw coconut.

7. Spinach

Popeye swears by spinach and so should you! Spinach like most leafy green vegetables, is amazing for your health and is also a home remedy for different ailments Spinach is rich in iron, which adds to your happiness quotient.( Courtesy of HILONEE FURIA of mensxp.com

Looking Good In Every Photo

1. Favor the left side of your face. A US study conducted by Wake Forest University has revealed that the left side of the face is more attractive than the right, apparently due to the fact that this side of the face shows more emotion. To capture the perfect profile picture, look or angle your face slightly to the right to reveal your ‘best’ side. This can also help to give the illusion of a slimmer face for those with rounder faces

2. Choose your makeup carefully. For the perfect photo-ready appearance, make sure you avoid light reflective or mineral foundations containing high amounts of titanium dioxide (a reflective pigment). Although these foundations are great for an everyday luminous look, the flash of a camera can quickly transform your dewy complexion to a ghostly white one as the white light reflects back from the camera. Once you have applied a suitable foundation, finish your look with some face powder to help eliminate shine.

3. Accentuate your best features. To look your sparkling best in photos, make sure you emphasize your favorite features to make them stand out in your snapshot. Love your eyes? Try playing them up with some eyeliner or false lashes. Think you've got great lips? Perk them up with some bright lipstick. Also, make the most of your best body features with an outfit that complements your shape and coloring.

4. Look away from the lens. Nobody wants glaring red or half-shut eyes ruining an otherwise great photo, so make sure you avoid this by focusing your eyes just slightly above or below the lens, or look at the face of the photographer. Looking directly at the lens causes light to flash off the retina, leading to the red eye effect. Looking slightly away from the camera will also reduce the risk of those mid-blink shots.

5. Avoid “red eye” shots. As “red eye” in photographs is caused by light reflecting off the back of the eye, those with large pupils are more likely to suffer from this pesky problem. If averting your gaze from the camera is not doing the trick, another tip for alleviating the red eye effect is to make sure photos are taken in well lit environment or to look at a bright light just prior to the photograph being taken to make your pupils smaller. You and your friends won't end up looking like a cast of vampires.

6. Banish the double chin. There’s nothing worse than spotting a picture of yourself sporting a double chin where you previously only had one, yet sadly this happens to the best of us. To avoid the appearance of a double chin in photos, make sure that the camera is just above or at your eye level. Also, try tilting your head up and jutting your jaw out slightly–you may want to practice this one first in the mirror to stay looking natural.

7. Avoid direct light. It may not always be possible to control the lighting for your photos and, unless you happen to be a professional model, you most likely won’t have someone on hand to make sure it’s just right. Direct light from above can cast shadows on your face and accentuate the appearance of under-eye shadows. Opt for areas with softer lighting or head to the shade if outdoors.

8. Pose like a pro. If you’re posing for a full body shot, try the classic celeb pose of turning your body three quarters of the way towards the camera, with one shoulder closer to the camera and one foot in front of the other. This will make you body appear slimmer than if you were facing the camera face on. Try keeping your back straight with your shoulders back and your stomach in (just try not to suck it in too much, you won’t be fooling anyone!).

9. Master the perfect smile. Many of us focus on our mouths when smiling; however, in the words of supermodel Tyra Banks, it’s all about the “smeyes” (smiling with your eyes). Rather than forcing a grin, think about something that makes you happy for a more natural smile. (Of course being with a loved one in the photo can make that smile come more naturally.) You may also want to perfect your personal smile to work with your features. For instance, a beaming smile works great for those with good teeth, while a more relaxed half smile will make small eyes appear

10. Practice your pose. If you’re really keen to capture the perfect photo, the best thing you can do is practice beforehand. Experiment with different face and body angles, smiles and facial expressions (even outfits!) to find what works for you, either in front of the mirror or with your own camera. (Just do it in the privacy of your own room; cam-whoring in public is so unappealing.) Once you have discovered which looks you like best, you are ready to unleash them at every photo opportunity, making sure you look perfect each time(Courtesy of realbuzz.com)

 

 

5 Signs that you have outgrown your relationship

Sometimes, the ease with which we fall in love is also the ease with which we fall out of love. This can happen because the relationship has run its course; your partner and you now want different things out of life; you’ve changed as a person and cannot relate to the relationship anymore. The comfort and habit of being in a relationship may work as a hindrance and not allow you to take the necessary steps required to call it off. But if you notice most or all of these signs, then you know you must confront the obvious and make a decision before it’s too late.

The most difficult thing in a relationship is to keep the excitement going. A certain drop in thrill levels is understandable, but if you feel no or minimum excitement about being in the relationship or with her, then you know you’ve outgrown the relationship.

Earlier you couldn’t get enough of her and now all you want to do is not be together. An obvious lack of interest and the need to avoid being together is another sure shot sign that you’ve outgrown the relationship.

A basic level of attraction is obviously imperative in the relationship. If you’re no longer attracted to her physically then the relationship has hit a dead end. If the spark is dead, then there is no point in keeping the relationship alive.

We’ve said time and again how important communication is in a relationship. The lack of it can spell doom for you and your lover. If you’ve stopped communicating or don’t talk as much about everything as you did before, then you’ve hit the wall. Either you can make a serious attempt to get the communication up and running or you can do the brave thing and call it off.

This can happen to anyone and it does happen ever so often. Your life goals change as you grow and mature as an individual. Your needs in life and what you expect of yourself is a process that is constantly evolving. It could happen that when you'll started you were both on the same path and now, with the passage of time, your paths have diverged. If this has happened, it is better to call the relationship off than attempt to combine roads that are in total opposite directions. 

Read Body Language Like A Pro

The phrase 'more than meets the eye' can mean so much when it comes to body language. "Up to 80 per cent of what we communicate is non-verbal," says Joe Navarro, author of What Every Body is Saying and former FBI agent turned non-verbal communication expert. Whether someone is feeling sad, confident, happy or even lying through their teeth, all of these can be deciphered just by paying attention to one's body communication. Watch out—you could also be letting on more than you think you are with a simple gesture as well!
The thing is we all speak without saying a single word. To find out exactly what those words are, you need to know what signs to look out for. Being able to read and understand body language can be an advantage to you, especially in tricky situations like a job interview, a first date or even when confronting someone.
Need a hand at learning how to read body language? Here, some common body language telltales that can help you assess certain situations.

How to spot a liar

Friend or colleague talking behind your back but denying it? Or is that real estate agent telling you the whole truth about the property you're interested in buying? Her words may say something, but her body language can tell you the truth that you are seeking.
• It's all in the face. To pick up on someone telling a lie, do what poker players do. The telltale signs? In one's face, says poker champion Annie Duke. "Poker players are good at hiding non-verbal cues. But I always watch them very closely. And if I see them blinking fast, licking their lips or flashing a quick grimace before they smile, chances are they're bluffing," says Duke.
• It goes downhill. Not the lie but the body language—head pointed toward the floor and shoulders slouched. These are all good indications that the person you're confronting isn't exactly telling you the truth, says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals: Understanding Body Language. "When you're honest and feeling good about what you're saying, your body language is typically up and forward. If not, your body language will typically go down because you're trying to control or keep in the information."
• A shoulder shrug. Did you catch that shoulder shrug? Says communication expert and author of You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want Janine Driver, the shoulder shrug is a sign of uncertainty. It also is a sign that even the person you're talking to doesn't quite believe what is coming out from her mouth. Be fast though says Driver; the shrug is a very subtle movement but can tell a lot.

Does he like me?

So the first date (or second or third) is going well but not too sure exactly how your date feels about you? Keep a lookout for these body language cues.
• The lick gives it all away. Think about it: At the end of the day, we all have some form of animal instinct. A dog licks his lips before dinner, a lion does the same when getting ready to pounce on a prey. So if you catch your date doing that—and you're not on a dinner date—chances are he's into you, says Tonya Reiman, author of The Power of the Body Language. "We lick our lips in anticipation when we see something we desire." In this case, we're willing to bet that he's anticipating you.
• A slight touch here and there. Not a difficult one to decipher but if your date is touching you from behind when crossing the road or pushing your hair out of your eyes, it is a good sign that things are going well, says Tracey Cox, author of Superflirt. "This is a sign that he wants to touch you and get close but needs an excuse to do it," she says. Tip: Want to show him that you feel the same way? Says Kevin Hogan, author of Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism, the body language cue is a "direct way for him to say, 'If you smile, I know you like me back.'

• Count the distance. So you just met a guy at a bar. Did you know you can tell instantly whether he is into you…or not? Simple—just count the distance between the two of you. If he's not feeling you romantically, he'll most definitely stay far away. Just what distance are we talking about? Says Greg Hartley, author of I Can Read You like A Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People are Really Sending with their Body Language, "If he remains four feet and more away from you, it is a clear signal that his heart's not in it." Here's another tip from Hartley: If his shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face as the two of you talk, he's subconsciously trying to turn you off.

Job interview telltale clues

Was that smirk on your interviewer's face a sign of contempt…or did he find your joke funny? Want to know if the job is yours? Check out these body language cues to help you shed light on the situation.
• Head tilt. Is your interviewer looking at you with her head tilted just a little to one side or the other? Good news, says Driver, as this is a clear sign that she is interested in whatever you have to say. Also, pay attention to the palms of the person interviewing you, she says. "Palms slightly up and outward equals open and friendly while palm-down gestures equal dominant and possibly aggressive."

• Are you boring your interviewer? If he or she is rubbing the back of their head or neck? "This may suggest that someone is bored with the conversation," says Driver. How to keep your interviewer's engage? Here's a tip from Navarro: Hold your chin high. Use your hands for emphasis, use open gestures but when you do bring your hands together, make sure your fingertips are pushing against one another. It not only says you are confident but that you want their attention as well.
• Similar gestures. Crossed your legs and your interviewer does the same? That's a positive sign too says Ross Buck, PhD, a professor of communication sciences and psychology at the University of Connecticut. She calls it synchrony, which happens when two people who are interacting mirror body language cues. "Synchrony is a signal that both people are on the same page. When you see someone copying your body language, or you notice that you are copying his, it is a clue that you are probably sharing a similar mind-set at the time." So if you see this happening when you are discussing expectations and salaries, well chances are your interviewer agrees with whatever you are saying!
By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia